If you are a Natasha Bedingfield fan or you watched a certain MTV reality program back in the day you now have the song” Unwritten” running through your head. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, look up the song, and get it stuck it in your head. There’s definitely worse ear worm like songs out there.

I recently started a new journal and as an avid journal writer there is nothing more exciting than the day you crack open a new journal. The pages are crisp, clean, and just waiting to be filled with your words, experiences, lessons, challenges, etc. Whenever I start a new journal I always think to myself I wonder what these pages will end up being filled with? The answer is, I don’t yet know. It remains..unwritten and uncertain.

It got me thinking about life and the uncertainty we inevitably face during different seasons of life. What if instead of trying to get rid of the uncertainty by making plans, forcing things to happen, doing things inside of our comfort zone, we embraced uncertainty and saw our lives like a brand new journal with excitement for the unknown lessons, challenges, experiences, and stories to come.

I have a lot of practice with this as chronic illness requires one to become very comfortable with the uncertain. I could walk a mile on Monday and feel absolutely fantastic and then walk a mile on Tuesday and end up in bed for the rest of the day. Certainty and chronic illness are like oil and water. They don’t mix, they don’t go together, and they certainly aren’t friends. I’ve had to learn that trying to find and force having certainty in my life causes my body much more stress and exacerbates my symptoms as opposed to the times I embrace and accept that there is no certainty in this season of life. I frequently say “I am living life in pencil.” I make plans, but those plans can’t be written in pen because I don’t know how I’ll feel from one day to the next.

Embracing uncertainty is not easy and it is not comfortable by any means. And yet I have found great beauty in it because at no other time in my life have I ever been more present focused. I take each day as it comes and do my best to be grateful for the days I am able bodied and can do the things I have penciled in for that day. To be honest, I am still working on being grateful on the days my body isn’t as able bodied and the life plans that I have put in pencil have to be erased and replaced with rest and silence.

The hard truth is no matter how much we plan and write our plans out in journals or in beautifully designed planners, none of us know where life is going to go and what life is going to bring our way. Uncertainty is always there lurking in the background and instead of ignoring her, I suggest embracing her and figuring out how to live with her. Because the truth is, she’s not going away. Embrace her, live with her, and marvel at the experiences, challenges, lessons, stories, etc she will fill the pages of your life with.