The above number doesn’t have quite the same ring to it as “525,600 minutes”, but it does fit pretty well the RENT tune if you sing it.. I should know as I tried, several times. Today marks 2 years or 1,051,200 minutes since a bright pink line popped up on an at home Covid test and completely changed my life.

These last 1,051,200 minutes have been filled with lots of doctor’s appts, occupational, physical, and speech therapy appts, tears, laughter, cussing, time with friends, Real Housewives episodes, hours of Taylor Swift songs, moments of tangible joy, and the beautifully ordinary everyday moments of life. Year One was focused on trying to figure out what exactly was going on with my body and how to get back to my life. Year Two has been spent working on accepting what’s going on with my body and accepting how to live with my illnesses.

I recently was told by a medical professional that they don’t like patients with chronic illnesses learning to “accept” their illnesses because that just means giving up. I couldn’t disagree with this medical professional more. I think acceptance is the most important part of learning to live with chronic illnesses. One has to accept their body isn’t the same and can’t do the same things. One has to accept that success looks different when you’re dealing with chronic illnesses. One has to accept that the illusion of control you thought you had is gone. One has to accept not everyone will understand, support, and/or validate your journey. One has to accept that everyone has an opinion, a doctor you should see, a treatment you should try, and a prayer you should let them pray, all in the name of trying “heal you”. One has to accept that to live with chronic illnesses you have to live day to day. You have to stay present in each day because you don’t know/really don’t have control over how your body is going to feel the next day. Without acceptance you just spend your time waging war against your body and your body always wins.

It’s also important to accept that just because life looks different that doesn’t mean it’s less. There are parts of my life now that are much more rich and fulfilling than they were B.L.C(Before Long Covid). I am a kinder and less judgmental person now because of what I’ve gone through and the judgement I’ve received. I know myself now in a way I have never known myself before. I am learning to stand in my truth and to block out the “noise” of the world. I am learning where and in who to invest my time and energy. I am learning the healing power of being vulnerable and being known. I am learning to be ok with the fact that I am not everyone’s cup of tea.. I think Im kind of like black licorice. You either like me or you don’t. lol.

I have learned a lot over the last two years and have had amazing people come into my life, but this is never the way I would have wished for those things to have happened. Unfortunately one of the truths of life is, shitty things just happen. They don’t happen because there’s something wrong with us, because of the position of the stars in the sky, because we didn’t wear our lucky socks that day, or because we don’t pray to a Divine presence. It’s just the way life works. Life is full of beautiful moments and brutal ones and unfortunately we can’t pick and choose the ones we experience.

I am going to celebrate Year 2 of living “sick” with dear friends and lots of humor. I am referring it the day as “the day my life imploded”, so I’m having an implosion party. For some, that seems negative and morbid, and you’re entitled to your opinion. For me, injecting humor and sarcasm wherever I can in this journey has helped me keep things in perspective and adds much needed laughter to my days. I don’t know what Year 3 on this journey holds and I am not even going to try to predict or look ahead. I do know there are some constants that will be with me on this continued journey such as, my sarcasm, my amazing village, Real Housewives episodes, laughter, books, Taylor Swift songs, time in nature, and beautiful everyday life moments. I’d say that’s a pretty rich 525,600 minutes I have to look forward to.