We tell stories, read stories, make up stories, exaggerate stories, and define people by their stories . We also create stories about ourselves. I’d like to say the stories I’ve created about myself center around a bad ass character with cute clothes that absolutely slays life on a daily basis and would be found in the Fantasy section at the local bookstore. Unfortunately, I am discovering many of the stories I’ve created about myself star a main character who for most of her life has looked to the crowds in the stands to tell her who she is, what she needs to be, what she should think, believe, feel, etc. Last time I checked, Barnes and Noble didn’t have a dedicated section for these types of stories, but if they did the section could be labeled “Books by Authors Who Are Waiting for You to Tell Them Who They Are.” Yes, I realize that’s a very long section title that would never fit on the cute signs at Banes and Noble nor would it be a section a lot of people would want to visit. Also, side note.. I have zero idea whether all the words in the above mentioned section title need to be capitalized or not. I did warn you from the beginning of this blog adventure that I have the grammar skills of a Kindergarten.. on a good day.

I didn’t discover the less than stellar stories I’ve created about myself on my own. If you’ve read this blog long enough you know that digging deep into the caverns of my soul is really not my idea of a fun time and wouldn’t you know that’s where these stories live. A+ therapist decided to take a trip down story lane during our last session. I’m sure she was not nearly as surprised as I was to find the types of stories about myself that litter my personal story lane. There’s the People Pleasing stories Volume 1,2,3,4,5.. you get the idea. There’s the book titled “Accomplishments: The Only True Form of Self Worth.” There’s “Reasons Why You Can’t Trust Yourself” that outlines in great detail all the reasons why my gut is not to be trusted under any circumstance. You’re probably getting an idea why visiting my own personal story lane is not a trip I enjoy taking.

The good news is I can write new stories about myself and fill the cavern of my soul with stories that reflect my creativity, humor, resilience, self-love, sarcasm, etc. Now these new stories won’t be written overnight as the old stories took decades to compile. According to A+ therapist, the new stories are written in the day to day moments of life when we choose to tell ourselves a new story instead of reinforcing an old one. I create a new story when I trust my gut, when I put my needs above others, when I honor and celebrate all the things I can do, etc. I have always realized the immense power words hold.. they can wound, they can uplift, they can destroy, they can heal. The same is true with the words and the stories we tell ourselves.. they can wound, they can uplift, they can destroy, they can heal.

Maybe you’ve read this far and besides thinking my therapist has her work cut out for her, which you are absolutely right about, you’re also thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me.” Congratulations! You are someone who says kind things about themselves and has created stories about yourself full of self-love, joy, and grace. I would guess you are in the minority.. or at least I hope you are because if you aren’t then this is really just a me issue. I think a lot of you can relate to looking outside yourself to find yourself, to validate yourself, to find your self worth. I think a lot of you may have personal story lanes that are also littered with self stories that aren’t the kindest. I would encourage you to turn the page and start to write a new chapter. A chapter with words that reflect the amazing and unique person you are and words that offer love, joy, grace, and healing.