A+ therapist has decided that I am in my “Dating Myself” Era. Now to be fair to her she didn’t call it an era. I just love Taylor Swift and enjoy the idea of me having different era’s in my life as she does with her music. So, this summer is my “Dating Myself Era”

Turns out that when your life gets turned upside down so to does your self image.. Shocking, I know. In an effort to help reacquaint me with myself and help me get to know this new version of myself, she has suggested I date myself. It may sound a little weird, but I am all down for this type of dating. I don’t have to navigate swiping on a dating app, don’t have to change my Facebook relationship status, and I don’t have to go on any horrible first dates. If I have a horrible time on a date with myself, then that’s an issue I’m not even sure A+ therapist can tackle.

I’ve been thinking about how as a culture we don’t encourage people to get to know themselves and do things alone. How many times have you gone to dinner or a movie and saw someone siting by themselves and thought to yourself, “Wow, that’s sad they are all alone” instead of thinking ,”Wow, that’s really cool they are doing something all alone.” We have been bombarded with the idea that to be complete we must have another person complete us instead of told the truth which is you have to complete yourself. No one can do that for you. Part of completing yourself is knowing yourself and loving yourself. I know myself very well, but I am still working on the loving myself part, especially this new self.

My summer of dating myself will begin next week when I go on a solo retreat to a beautiful place where cell phone’s don’t work, the wifi is spotty, and the rooms don’t have TV’s in them. For some of you that sounds like prison. I assure you I am not spending 3 days in the local county jail. There will be nothing for me to do except be with myself and enjoy the silence. I can’t wait! I’ll spend 3 glorious days reading, writing, going for walks, meditating, and spending time getting to know this Sara. She’s been through a lot and she’s definitely not the same person she was BLC(Before Long Covid), but she’s still pretty great. Or at least I hope she is.. If I spend 3 days with myself and discover I’m not so great anymore, that would be a real let down. That would bring the dating myself era to an end real quick and also be my shortest relationship ever. There’s a first time for everything.

I am looking forward to this summer of dating myself and being intentional about getting to know who I am now after everything I’ve been through. I want to meet her, make friends with her, and learn to love her because to navigate this new world of chronic illnesses I am going to have to work with my body and myself and not against them. I am already waging battle with my illnesses I don’t want to also be battling myself.

So, here’s to dating myself… let’s hope it’s much less painful and awkward than dating in real life.